Dirty Pickup Lines


Your eyes are like spanners….every time you look at me, my nuts tighten

Is your dad a baker? Because you haves some nice buns there

I’m no weatherman, but you can expect a few inches tonight

Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a footlong"

I may not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you

Can I read your t-shirt in braille?

I am an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus

You must be yoghurt because I want to spoon you

Did you say the word of the day was “legs”? Let me spread the word for you

If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

If your feeling down I can feel you up

are your legs made of nutella? because i'd love to spread them

You know what I like in a girl? My dick

You should join a circus so you can juggle my balls all day

Are you a drill sergeant? Cause you have my privates standing at attention

Wanna go on an ate with me? I'll give you the D later

Do you live on a chicken farm? 'Cause you sure know how to raise a cock.

Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you're making me hard.

My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?

There will only be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus

I lost my virginity, can I have yours?

The nations debt is not the only thing thats rising

You're like a little my little toe, I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home

Are you from Ireland? Because when I look at you my penis is Dublin

Hey I'm like a rubik's cube, the more you play with me the harder I get